saturday post: the dwelling and our lives

Lord, who may dwell in your sanctuary? 

Psalm 15:1 (New International Version)

A major primetime news show featured a local priest announcing support for President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo's bid for a congressional seat in Lubao, Pampanga during mass. And I wondered if the priest didn't feel his skin crawl while he made that pronouncement; mine did. Seated next to strategically placed impoverished children, the President calmly accepted--dare I say, with a beatific smile on her face--the priest's support.

I found it, quite frankly, hypocritical on both of their accounts and an upfront disgrace to God and His dwelling, the church; primarily on the part of the President, whom I can only assume is pretending to be pious and faithful because if she were, then the Philippines would be in a very different situation today.

Before this becomes a full-out rant against our government, I'd like to take pause and examine the situation. With all my prejudice against hypocrites and calling them out, I don't want someone else to point a finger at me and say, "Look who's talking."

In some cases for some people, their lives are divided in two parts: inside the church, outside the church. Inside the church, they act all holy and self-contained, but outside, they are the total opposite. Yes, some cases and some people. For example, me.

At one point in my life, I stopped and looked at myself and didn't like the hypocrite I saw. I didn't like the fact that Saturday was reserved for respectful behavior among the elders, brothers and sisters, but beyond it, there were no holds barred: Drink. Gossip and talk bad about people behind their backs. Forget to pray at night. Get mad at others and let them have it. Curse. It was even more troubling for me because sometimes I was tasked to perform the sermon; and there is nothing more heavy on the conscience than a sinful heart standing at the pulpit.

The psalm of David asks, "Who may dwell in the Lord's sanctuary," and I knew the person I was was not, but I hope and pray, the person I am trying to become is. Because not going to church is not an option to me, I sought and am continually seeking to improve my life by letting God seep into my life outside of church. My goal is to erase the divide between myself in church and myself outside of church; that wherever I am, I am one person, and that I dwell in God in the same way that I have faith that with Him, the Holy Spirit dwells in me. My goal is to have integrity in life rooted in God.

I do not claim to have reached these goals. In fact, I might've slipped last night--but not as much as I have slipped and fallen before. For reasons I cannot explain, I feel that even when I cannot help myself, God helps me.

I sympathize with other believers who are struggling with the issue of oneness of life, those people who have sat in church and wondered, "How can I face the Lord after what I did yesterday?" The question is not designed to make us avoid the Lord, but to face up to reality and make the necessary changes.

I pray that we will all be worthy to enter God's dwelling, and that we ourselves are worthy dwellings of God by living righteous lives inside and more importantly, outside of church.